Return of the Christmoween

Our brave undead forces opened another front in the 'War on Christmas' today with surprise attacks 
across Bloomington in the dead of night. 

On Saturday night, Zombie Santa was seen taking his battle against decency and normal holiday joy to the streets of Bloomington for a second night in a row.

First he made a second surprise appearance at Atomic Age Cinema, and this time he was armed!


Pictured here: Zombie Santa and future victim aka 'The Projectionist'. Not seen: piles of bodies.

There are reports that additional media of the reign of terror shall emerge from within the ghastly slaughterhouse of Atomic Age. Another murderous Santa Claus was spotted with an axe, and the undead monsters that host the weekly Grand Guignol also did their best to befoul the noble holiday season.

After leaving Atomic Age with a trail of carnage and some nifty abominations hidden in jars, Zombie Santa again frequented a late-night dining establishment, to spready joyous fear to its cowering employees.


Zombie Santa likes Chicken Fiesta Burritos, lots of Fire sauce, and tasty souls for his late night snack.

Finally, Zombie Santa returned to his unholy domicile, secure with his new looted hellspawn.


Here we also see some of the fruits of attending Atomic Age so regularly: lots and lots of free movie posters.


Merry Christmoween!

Ways NOT to Make a Christmoween Snowman

1. Try to use unpackable fine powder snow, drier than the Sahara
2. Come up with 'ingenious' method to harden said snow using water
3. Fail to spot-test fake blood on snow to see if in fact it will resemble blood, or merely turn into a viscous goo upon contact
4. Continue meddling even as ingenious snow shatters upon every slight touch.
5. Go to bed instead of committing ritual suicide, as honor demands

So, yeah.  A bit down this morning.  If it even survives the harsh light of dawn, I might take pictures of my Ozymandian disaster out there, just for posterity.

But don't count on it.

Christmoween in Pictures

Last night the fair city of Bloomington, Indiana was plagued by a menace from beyond the veil of death itself:


Zombie Santa!

This repulsive monstrosity, cast out by both Man and God, was spotted in and around the downtown area, distributing toys and candy to the least reputable of our citizenry.

Accompanying the foul spectre on its unholy mission was another undead abomination, herself once a jolly and humble elf, dedicated to bringing the joys of the Yuletide to one and all.

Now merely a rotting, shambling husk, she brings only pestilence and death!

Authorities urge all citizens to remain indoors, and to avoid any and all contact with these foul and twisted creatures. If spotted, please notify emergency services immediately, then return to your televisions and resume watching It's a Wonderful Life until normalcy is restored.

Temporary blog hijacking.

This be the roommate, despite what the post byline will say.

There will be a proper Christmoween post coming later tonight or tomorrow, whenever the esteeméd gentleman who usually posts here gets around to it. All I know is, I got the pictures web-ready, so now the rest is up to him.

To anyone reading this who shared in the holiday cheer tonight: hi from your friendly neighborhood zombie elf! Now gimme your brains.

This concludes the post hijacking; mechanoid, feel free to delete my post when you're ready to put up the real version.

-- Jenny, aka the roommate, aka ur mum

Here Comes Christmoween

Finally, a holiday for those of us on the 'Naughty' list.

If you're like me, the month of December is bar none the most agonizing four weeks of slog in the entire year. Everywhere you go you get bombarded with insipid carols, tone-deaf pop music, wishy-washy psuedo-religious spectacle and pomp. Simultaneously, in every paper, news broadcast, church, public gathering and random streetcorner you hear about how no one is honoring the 'True Spirit of Christmas'.

Whatever the hell that is.

I say it's high time there's a break in this month long madness for those of us who still retain enough of a grasp on reality to realize that 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer' wasn't a good song the FIRST time you heard it, let alone the ten-thousandth; to understand that chopping down and drying out an already combustible pine tree then placing it in the center of your home decked in strings of cheap lighting made in China might NOT be the brightest idea in the world; that cramming the entire family in a car to drive cross-country to visit relatives you despise and eat food that isn't fit for the family dog because it's been prepared by white people without any remaining taste buds is SUB-moronic; people, in short, who haven't swallowed the Jonestown eggnog.

Thus I am proud to unveil Christmoween, for those people whose neurons are still firing despite the barrage of Salvation Army bell-ringing and the stench of an evergreen holocaust rising over the land.

The Legend of Christmoween
Many years ago, the forces of huggy-feely, church-going consumerism conspired to kill the original Santa Claus. Giving toys to poor kids wasn't nearly as profitable an image as that of the Coca-Cola swilling, cookie-eating fat man, after all, and charity cut into the bottom line for everyone (everyone that really mattered, anyway).

Fortunately, where there's a will, there's a way, and when life gives you a corpse, you can always raise it from the dead. Thus, through foul black magic, human sacrifice, and the immolation of thousands of copies of The Night Before Christmas on a fire stoked with Bill O'Reilly's latest fishwrapper, Zombie Santa was born. Well, brought back to life. It's more or less the same thing.

Operating out of a secret underground necropolis with a small army of likewise disinterred elves (who didn't get behind the new regime fast enough and found themselves in the cellars of the North Polar Ministry of Love), Zombie Santa ventures out on Christmoween to bring equal amounts of terror and joy to a world that's forgotten the dark times of the year, the meaning of a long cold winter, and the joy of devouring huge amounts of candy you got at ridiculous discounts the first week of November.

All hail Christmoween!