The Good Die First

But most of us are morally ambiguous, which explains our random dying pattern. -- MST3k, 'The Gunslinger'

Slim Chance Mars Will Get What's Coming to It
An asteroid may be hitting Mars soon, giving it a good drubbing for the continual failure to produce alien invaders to put humanity to rights. Currently the asteroid is obscured from view by our Moon, but they've calculated at 4% chance of a hit so far.

Man, I hope it goes ker-wham. That'd be neat.

Source: Raw Story

Russians Ban Ad Stating Santa Claus is Fake
Seriously. They have a law that bans people from discrediting parents, and since parents tell kids that Santa is real, they can ban the ad.

Other things parents tell children that you can no longer question in Russia:

1. Mommy loves you all the same
   
2. Daddy drinks because you were bad
3. If you drink this kool-aid you'll go gently to sleep and wake in a land of eternal happiness

Source: Raw Story

Someone's Got to Be At Fault for THIS
So a guy was hit by a car, put in a body bag while still alive, and sent to the morgue instead of the hospital. They didn't notice he was alive for some time. His family is suing, saying that his permanent disability was no doubt at least worsened by the whole lack of medical treatment thing. The coroner says that, as they're all supposed to be dead when they get to him, it's not his fault.

That might be a point, but SOMEONE put a live man in a body bag. I should think they at least have some 'splainin to do.

Source: Raw Story

Department of Pointless Remakes
Death Race 2000 is, believe it or not, being remade. Seriously.

The mind boggles.

Source: IMDB

Various and Sundry News

Also known as tab-clearing day.

Idiots with their Toys
Maybe it's just that I've been woken from a sound sleep twice today by the idiot neighbors with their insanely overpowered stereo, but the story about some moron lighting engineer in Orlando using 10,000 dollars worth of borrowed equipment to make a massive light display really cheeses me off. If I was his neighbor I'd never get an hour's sleep and be driven to homicidal rage.

Or, like that story I read about a while back where some other jerk did this, I'd call the cops and force him to take most of them down. This is light pollution and obnoxious. Period.

You seriously have to watch the Youtube video at that link, btw. It's horrible stuff.

Source: The Orlando Sentinel

How Hot Is It?
Brief article on the speculation about the maximum theoretical temperature in the universe. Surprisingly crucial to determining what the universe is actually made of, as the various cosmological theories all have different ideas.

Source: Nova

Another Technology Drives People Mad
This time it's traffic cameras. In England apparently people are forming vigilante gangs to destroy them for sport.

As technology progresses, people should regress as a defense. So sayeth The Bastard.

Source: Wired

Very Tiny Bible Made with Laser
What a great use of technology this is.

Source: Raw Story

Pope Decries Selfishness and Materialism in Shiny Duds
In front of a lavish Christmas display.

That's not the worst of it though. Check out this speechifying:

"These words refer ultimately to us, to each individual and to society as a whole," said the German-born pope. "Do we have time for our neighbour who is in need of a word -- or in need of my affection? -- for the fugitive or the refugee who is seeking asylum? Do we have time and space for God?" he asked.

You can bet he asked himself that same question back when he was serving as a death camp guard in the German Army.

Excuse me? This is the man asking if we have 'time' for a refugee?

It's going beyond parody at this point and becoming something sick and sad.

Source: Raw Story

Return of the Christmoween

Our brave undead forces opened another front in the 'War on Christmas' today with surprise attacks 
across Bloomington in the dead of night. 

On Saturday night, Zombie Santa was seen taking his battle against decency and normal holiday joy to the streets of Bloomington for a second night in a row.

First he made a second surprise appearance at Atomic Age Cinema, and this time he was armed!


Pictured here: Zombie Santa and future victim aka 'The Projectionist'. Not seen: piles of bodies.

There are reports that additional media of the reign of terror shall emerge from within the ghastly slaughterhouse of Atomic Age. Another murderous Santa Claus was spotted with an axe, and the undead monsters that host the weekly Grand Guignol also did their best to befoul the noble holiday season.

After leaving Atomic Age with a trail of carnage and some nifty abominations hidden in jars, Zombie Santa again frequented a late-night dining establishment, to spready joyous fear to its cowering employees.


Zombie Santa likes Chicken Fiesta Burritos, lots of Fire sauce, and tasty souls for his late night snack.

Finally, Zombie Santa returned to his unholy domicile, secure with his new looted hellspawn.


Here we also see some of the fruits of attending Atomic Age so regularly: lots and lots of free movie posters.


Merry Christmoween!

I Yet Live!

So after the snowman incident I kind of came down with something and was pretty sick all week. Yeesh.

But I'm better now, so on with the links and news.

Finally, CSI Redux
This pretty much explains the whole show, along with all of its various clones and retreads.

Source: Cascade Failure

Ebay Madness
If you're evil and have disposable income there's no end to the fun you can have.

Source: Ebay (naturally)

Mars Was Already Pretty Beaten Up, It Hardly Needs a New Dent
Used planets just aren't what they once were.

Oh well.

Source: The LA Times

Slashdot Said It Best, I Think
Begun, this War on Christmas Has.

Source: Gizmodo

Bush Sez: A Bargain at Twice The Price!
Oh, and you will be paying twice the price, too.

Iraq war now tops Vietnam in cost using adjusted dollars. Twice as expensive as Korea.

Source: Yahoo News

Lakota Indians Withdraw from Meaningless Treaties
Not that it will help them, but at least it made the news.

Source: Fox News (oddly enough)

Putin of the Year
Vlad makes Person of the Year at Time.

The article has some great Russian jokes in it too.

Still, creepy, creepy man.

Oh, and FYI, Time? "A Tsar is Born" is not a clever title. Not the least bit. Plus, considering how Russkies see the Tsars, it's pretty insensitive.

Source: Time.com

Department of RICHARD IS BACK OH THANK THE LORD
Looking for Group with another Richard comic that needs to be made into a shirt.

Seriously. I'd buy like five all by myself.

Source: Looking for Group