All purpose vertically integrated publishing empire for cynicism, hopelessness and misanthropy. Mild nausea is common when using this product. Other symptoms may include, but are not limited to: dizzyness, headache, homicidal rage and yellow discharge. Rarely, users may begin to hear voices urging them to kill. If this occurs, discontinue use and seek psychiatric attention. Do not read when pregnant or nursing; the author thinks that's gross.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Christmoween in Pictures

Last night the fair city of Bloomington, Indiana was plagued by a menace from beyond the veil of death itself:


Zombie Santa!

This repulsive monstrosity, cast out by both Man and God, was spotted in and around the downtown area, distributing toys and candy to the least reputable of our citizenry.

Accompanying the foul spectre on its unholy mission was another undead abomination, herself once a jolly and humble elf, dedicated to bringing the joys of the Yuletide to one and all.

Now merely a rotting, shambling husk, she brings only pestilence and death!

Authorities urge all citizens to remain indoors, and to avoid any and all contact with these foul and twisted creatures. If spotted, please notify emergency services immediately, then return to your televisions and resume watching It's a Wonderful Life until normalcy is restored.

Posted by John J. Sears at 5:27 AM
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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You know, I keep looking at that last picture, and I just gotta say what's been on my mind since I edited it up last night.

HONEY NUT CHEERIOS... OF THE DEAD

There. Maybe it'll be out of my system now.

December 16, 2007 at 4:26 PM

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