I Ran With the Devil, Left a Trail of Excuses News

Good day to all on 'A Small Band of Whackos In a Midwestern Hellhole of a State Decide Your Future' Day

Republican Round-Robin
This short article detailing the serial destruction of various Republican campaigns is hilarious.

It also reeks of the desperation the Republican elites feel at this point, trying to find ANYONE but Huckabee to win their nomination.

Source: Raw Story

Top US Senator? Only In His Fragile Little Mind
Biden takes the opportunity to remind the world he's still breathing by denouncing that the Bush administration approved the sale of a bunch of F-16s in late December amidst the madness of the Bhutto assassination.

Yeah. The Bush administration did something stupid. Big surprise. But the timing isn't really relevant, Senator "Bankruptcy Bill" Biden. It's actually never a good idea to sell high tech military hardware to small, highly unstable countries full of internal strife and religious fanatics, armed with nukes and run by an inept yet brutal dictator.

So, please... just go crawl in a hole somewhere and die already.

Source: Raw Story

Orwellian America
Much like 1984, it's both scary and ludicrous at the same time.

A report out blasts the US for slipping into the worst group of surveillance happy societies, and reminds me of a hilarious story I had forgotten, where the FBI had been using their access to your supermarket purchasing records (from those handy discount cards they give you) to try and track terrorists... by what they eat.

However, according to Jeff Stein in Congressional Quarterly, the FBI "sifted through" grocery store data around San Francisco in 2005 and 2006.

"The idea," Stein writes, "was that a spike in, say, falafel sales, combined with other data, would lead to Iranian secret agents in the south San Francisco-San Jose area."

I have several boxes of falafel mix in my kitchen cabinet, but the last time I checked I'm not an Iranian secret agent.

Though if, you know, Iran is hiring, they could send me an offer...

Source: Raw Story

Reasons Not to Bother With The Mainstream Press
A former reporter for NBC's Dateline is making the rounds attacking them for being grossly stupid and obsessed with fitting the news into their profit model.

Some of this stuff is hilariously tragic. Tragilarious, if you like.

In another instance, Hockenberry claimed a story he did about a Weather Underground member wouldn't appear on the Sunday edition of "Dateline" unless its lead-out, the 1960s family drama "American Dreams," did a show about "protesters or something."

See? News programs should only serve as advertising for our family drama crap!

Then of course there's this tidbit:

Another bombshell is Hockenberry's claims that General Electric, NBC's parent company, discouraged him from talking to the Bin Laden family about their estranged family member. Hockenberry asked GE, which does business with the Bin Laden family company, to help him get in contact with them. Instead, a PR executive called Hockenberry's hotel room in Saudi Arabia and read a statement about how GE didn't see its "valuable business relationship" with the Bin Laden Group as having anything to do with "Dateline."

Yes, god forbid someone ask the BIN LADEN FAMILY about, err, their ties to terrorism. Or an American corporation not, err, line their pockets.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh.

Source: Reuters

Bhutto's Secret File
Seems like Bhutto was about to accurse Musharraf of completely rigging the election immediately before her violent death. Wow, not the least bit suspicious.

According to CBS News, which has obtained a copy of the report, it "alleges widespread plans to stuff ballot boxes, rig voting lists, and intimidate, even kill, opposition voters."

CNN quotes the document more specifically as saying, "Where an opposing candidate is strong in an area, they have planned to create a conflict at the polling station, even killing people if necessary, to stop polls at least three to four hours."

...

CNN analyst Peter Bergen noted, "There's no reason to believe that she was killed because of this dossier, because the people behind her killing almost certainly are al Qaeda and the Taliban, and they've got nothing to do with this election." That is the official Pakistani position, based primarily on allegations of intercepted phone calls from a pro-Taliban warlord who has denied any involvement.

Honestly, CNN. Do you even try any more?