News of the Day

Because life goes on, no matter how much it sucks.


Department of Dana Peroxide
From the woman who had never heard of the Cuban Missile Crisis:

The White House on Thursday slapped back at Nobel laureate Al Gore saying he was wrong to call the United States the obstable to success at the Bali climate change conference.

"I think he is incorrect," spokeswoman Dana Perino said of Gore's remarks in Bali when he said the United States was the main obstacle to a climate change deal.

No, Dana, you don't think. You never think.  That's the whole problem. Honestly, you should try it sometime.

Source: Raw Story

Fresh from the Ministry of Love
The people who brought you the Taser torture device have been working on a version that fires more like a shotgun, with no pesky wires and a longer range. Oh, and four times the duration of the agony.

With the new "extended range electronic projectile," or XREP, the Taser has been turned into a kind of self-contained shotgun shell and can be fired, wire-free, from a standard shotgun, which police typically have in their arsenal already.

The first electrode hooks on to the target, the second electrode falls and makes contact elsewhere on the body, completing the circuit and activating the shock. It can blast someone as far as 30 metres away, and, unlike the current stun guns, whose shock lasts five seconds, the XREP lasts 20 seconds...

Isn't that lovely. Now they can fire round after round of debilitating torture into crowds of people.

But what if you want to hit an entire group of people with your lightning weapon? Have no fear, the mad scientists have a solution!

Besides the XREP, the company has developed a device meant to keep someone from approaching a certain area – a tactic called "area denial." "What if you could drop everyone in a given area to the ground with the simple push of a button?" asks a dramatic promotional video for the "Shockwave."

Taser has turned its weapon into a connected series of six darts arranged in an arc. The company says the device can be extended in a chain or stacked "like Lego," depending on the needs of the user.

Won't it be nice when they can just floor the entire flag waving, banner holding bunch of peaceniks from a distance?

Source: The Star

The Department of Unbelievable Gluttony
My friend split this with his girlfriend. Amazingly enough, they're both still in stable condition. Though I'd put my name on the wait-list for a pancreas if I was him. (do they transplant pancreases?)

Join the Club Department
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee voted Thursday to hold two top aides to President Bush in contempt of Congress for refusing to cooperate in its probe of fired federal prosecutors.

I've been holding them in contempt for years.

Of course, nothing will come of it.

As with many of Bush's battles with the Democratic-led Senate, the president may ultimately prevail since his fellow Republicans may be able to block the citations with a procedural hurdle.

Source: Raw Story