McCain Atlas!

Much has been made of John McCain's geographic knowledge, but how does Grampy McSame really see the world?Much has been made of John McCain's geographic knowledge, but how does Grampy McSame really see the world?

Luckily for my non-existent loyal readers, I have a source* deep within the McCain campaign, who sent me this page out of a top-secret foreign policy document, the John McCain Atlas of the World (2008 Edition).



Now you too can be a globe-straddling master of geopolitics, just like Senator John McCain.



(Click either thumbnail for full-size image)
Enjoy.

*Also non-existent

Nom Nom News

Cheddar Popcorn is Yummy


Honestly, What is WRONG With These People?
So there's a church group called Laces 4 Love operating in South Carolina, including in the public schools. They give shoes to poor needy kids... with a slight caveat. You have to have a Christian ritual foot washing first.

So the choice for poor kids is, let some stranger wash your feet and pray over you, or go without shoes. And the schools think this is appropriate.

I cannot stress this enough: I hate these people. They are the absolute scum of the earth and the living embodiment of my distate for evangelism and missionaries. They ought to be hauled out back of the schools and beaten to within an inch of their lives for exploiting the suffering of poor children to advance their cause.

Disgusting, filthy animals. I hope they all die of something nasty.

Sources: Jesus' General
Americans United for Separation of Church and State

Fly My Pretties!
Killer bees are marching across the South, much like Sherman.

Hooray for Bees!

Source: Raw Story/AP

Ratfuck the Republicans!
So in Michigan, you can cross party lines in the primary, it seems, and the Republicans have a long history of sabotaging Democratic primaries in doing so.

Fine, I guess; rules are rules. This year, the Democratic primary in Michigan has been negated since they moved it up without permission, so Dem voters have nowhere to go, really.

Except to the Republican side. Where they can sabotage the results.

But who to vote for....

And we want Romney in, because the more Republican candidates we have fighting it out, trashing each other with negative ads and spending tons of money, the better it is for us. We want Mitt to stay in the race, and to do that, we need him to win in Michigan.

Two polls the last couple of days show a tight race: Strategic Vision (R) shows Romney within striking distance with 20 percent to McCain's 29 (Huckabee is third with 18), while Rossman Group shows Huckabee with the lead -- 23 percent to Romney's 22 and McCain's 18.

Now here's the thing -- without a real Democratic contest on the ballot, and a lack of party registration in Michigan, this is an open primary. Anyone can pick up a Republican ballot. So Michigan Democrats and independents who want to see the Republican battle royale continue should just take a few minutes on Tuesday, January 15th to cast a ballot for Mitt Romney in the Republican primary.

Revenge would be sweet.

Source: The Daily Kos

Hilarious Graves
No, my high school principal hasn't died yet... that I know of.

These are just a couple of graves from Hollywood types with a sense of humor. Enjoy.

Sources: news from me
Seeingstars.com

Our Mercenary Friends
So it seems that in 2005 Blackwater dropped tear gas on a street of US soldiers and Iraqi civilians. Why? Who the hell knows.

Probably because they could.

These people have held our troops at hostage, killed our Iraqi puppets, and now we find out they've been gassing people, on our side?

When will it finally be enough?

Source: Raw Story

News (Vanilla)

These changes won't come easy, it'll take some time to lose these feelings..

Ice Creamy Fraud
So some net pranksters/fraudsters forged an ad campaign saying that the Cold Stone ice cream stores in Michigan would give away small ice creams to anyone for a single day.

There was of course no such promotion, leaving the stores somewhat flatfooted.

The stores in question had apparently recently changed ownership, reverting back to the parent company over a profit-sharing dispute, so I can imagine this might be the work of the former owners, but who can say.

Previous franchise holders said they lost money because the Cold Stone system required a 9 percent cut of sales, not profits. They claimed the system set up local business owners to fail.

That does sound a bit punitive, I have to admit. Still, rules are rules; the coldstones around here seem to do ok, for the most part.

Source: Mlive.com

Advance of Soviet America
In our never-ending quest to fix all of our problems with surveillance and bureaucracy, until we become what we most hated during the Cold War, or claimed to hate at least, in a horrible cliche, Indiana has started a crackdown on driver's licenses.

This has nothing to do with our new law requiring one to vote, of course. Nope nope.

In this case, a man has to change the name he's used, legally enough it seems for 65 years, the name he served his country under during WWII, because he had to get a new license. The reason? It doesn't match his birth certificate.

The BMV informed Francisco Mendez, 65, that he had to change his name to Francisco Mendez Vale to match his birth certificate even though he follows the custom of his native Puerto Rico and does not use his mother's family name. In many Spanish speaking parts of the world, children are given both the father's and mother's family names, but generally use only the paternal name.

"I've been Francisco Mendez for 65 years," said Mendez, who was born in Puerto Rico and raised in Gary. "I served in the military with that name. And I retired from U.S. Steel after 35 years with that name."

Well, see, he's a funny brown person with a funny name. We need to stop him getting a license, because then he could VOTE.

And yet, the Supreme Court will no doubt allow this law to stand. Next up are the TSA's internal passports, which you'll have to have a valid driver's license to get, of course. In our very near future, folks, is an America of the haves and have nots, the people with Papers and without. Without them, you can't get a license, can't get a real job, can't travel, can't vote, and might as well not exist.

Can you be sure they won't revoke your right to papers? Do you really want to find out?

Another Hat Tip to Nidoking and his News, btw. My comments there are very similar to here, so I'm doing my part to recycle.
Source: Associated Press

I Don't Think the Debate Clause Was Meant for This, Pelosi
So Florida investigators want access to pervert Mark Foley (R-Chat Room)'s computer, to see if they can find evidence to indict him on being a sick, pervy individual who tries to seduce kids from the House floor during votes.

The problem: the House as an institution is standing behind the boy-grabber to preserve their own privileges.

House lawyers previously refused to allow investigators access to the computers, arguing doing so would violate the Speech or Debate Clause of the Constitution. Only Foley can waive the privilege that allows lawmakers to keep their legislative papers private.

Look folks, I understand the legal rationale for having the Congress be immune to the Executive branch. I really do. Having that rubicon that the President can't cross is a great buffer against him just deciding, one day, to send in the FBI and shut you down on a pretense. Having the DC police under your control in turn provides a nice check to Executive misuse.

But this is going a bit far. Surely the House as a collective could grand a one-time exception here. Otherwise this kiddie hunter is going to walk completely free. How did it serve congressional 'debate' for him to seduce kids with your wifi? I'm confused.

Source: Raw Story

I Prefer the Term 'Church-Free' Myself
So the Southern Baptists had a study done on why so many people don't go to church. 22%, the highest ever in an American survey, now say they never go to church. Unchurched, for the purpose of this study, includes those people and anyone else who hasn't been to a church in six months.

The thing is, these people aren't, on the whole, irreligious; they're annoyed.

A new survey of U.S. adults who don't go to church, even on holidays, finds 72% say "God, a higher or supreme being, actually exists." But just as many (72%) also say the church is "full of hypocrites."

Indeed, 44% agree with the statement "Christians get on my nerves."

Oh god, chalk me down in that 44% plz, kthx.

USA Today spins this a bit to make it sound that the unchurched are ignorant when they say all religions are basically the same; but, you know, objectively speaking, they really sort of are. When you're not religious, they all look sort of scary and cult-like, historically systems of control and soothing people about their fate to rot in the ground, and the like.

Source: USA Today

My Floridian Friend Found This
Enough F's in that title? Heh.

So it seems there's a Sweeney Todd Cold Cuts registered with Florida as a profit-seeking corporation. This isn't a short term prank at least, they've been going for three years.

Detail by Entity Name
Florida Profit Corporation
SWEENEY TODD COLD CUTS CORP.
Filing Information
Document Number P04000068778
FEI Number 201174392
Date Filed 04/23/2004
State FL
Status ACTIVE
Effective Date 04/21/2004

I will have vengeance... I will have PASTRAMI!!!

Source: Florida Department of State, Division of Corporations

Ha Ha! Take That, Obama Fans

Hmm, Hillary wins in New Hampshire... oh yes.. your tears are so sweet and delicious, hmm...

Source: CNN.com

Sunday Morning Stomachache News

Apple juice it soothes the pain...

I Just Hope It Doesn't Mean Another Costume Change
So the United Nations is teaming up with Marvel to do a comic promoting UN humanitarian efforts to children, starring Spiderman.

I've actually seen worse; I acquired for my brother in law a copy of a Target/Marvel comic to promote reading, when I worked at that hellstore. The plot involved traveling through time and reading hieroglypics, which were intrepreted as sequential art, thus proving that you had to have both literacy AND comics to defeat the villain and save the world.

Compared to that, this sounds positively restrained. Unless, of course, you get a new villain, Doc Republican, who tries to cut UN funding because he thinks that an army of black helicopters is going to invade his stately mansion, where he conducts illegal cloning experiments on puppies.

Hmm. I take it back; that could be entertaining, and couldn't be any worse than the original Spiderman Clone Saga..

Source: The BBC

Catholic Hospital Says Yes to Breast Implants, But Only for XX Women
Ok, long story short, a transgendered person wants to get breast implants. Their hospital says no, Catholic doctrine only allows us to give regular women breast implants. They're suing under a California law that prohibits religious discrimination in healthcare.

Honestly, it's about time. First we had to have an actual debate in Connecticut over making Catholic hospitals stock emergency contraception for rape victims, now this, and of course they still ban abortions and sterilization procedures. Why do we let any church dictate health policy in this country? If they want to help people by providing quality healthcare, fine, dandy; but they need to do it on reasonable, scientific terms, or they can pack up their game and go home to the Vatican already.

Source: PageOneQ

Fascism is What you Make of It?So, despite recent non-seller Liberal Fascism by that Doughiest of Pantloads, Jonah Goldberg, it seems that real world fascists remain stubbornly conservative. Sadly, No! highlights a recent ad by the Gathering of Eagles group, comparing anti-war protestors COde Pink to a lethal bacteriological strain, and noting how similar that was to certain Nazi propaganda tools... like....

The Jew will be identified! The same battle which Pasteur and Koch had to fight must be led by us today. Innumerable sicknesses have their origin in one bacillus: the Jew! Japan would also have got it had it been remained open any longer to the Jew. We will get well when we eliminate the Jews. --Good Old Liberal Adolf

Yeah, I think we win this one again, Jonah.

Source: Sadly, No!


This Had Better Not Stop Me From Getting Eureka 7 Vol. 11 On Time
There used to be defective runs of dvds like this all the time, but these days it's so rare it's actually newsworthy. A bunch of Bandai dvds for their January 8th release window have a very high rate of defect; reportedly as much as 10-25% a title being unplayable. That's a fairly astonishing quality assurance problem.

But like I said; this had better not stop me from getting Eureka 7 Vol. 11. I need to know what happens to *blank* when they get to *blank* after *blank* *blankity blank*

Spoilers removed for your convenience.

Source: Anime News Network

This Holds Equally True for Most Proms and All Sororities

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
Dorothy Parker
US author, humorist, poet, & wit (1893 - 1967)

Source: Quotationspage.com

100th Post Take Two

Note the (hopefully) working new format, which makes linking to sub-sections easier. Wheee.

Fungi From Yuggoth

So it seems that there's a fungal infection, commonly called Valley Fever, that has long afflicted the Southwest, from Texas to California. The spores live in the soil, so it's best not to disturb the dusty, arid wastes if you can help it. Even so, the vast majority of people who catch it have no real problem, and then get lifelong immunity. For a couple percent, though, it's a pretty gruesome death.

However, things are a bit different in the 'Gee This Sounds Like a Horror Movie Locale' town of Pleasant Valley. There, the disease has always been rampant, and a prison in the area has been crippled with the fever.

(We discussed this a bit at Atomic Age with some friendly fellow down from Indy in search of a Rocky Horror show, who had stumbled upon our gathering instead. Basically, if you want certain death, you name your town something idyllic and peaceful. Pleasant Valley, Crystal Lake, you know the type. So we proposed that, in the name of public safety, you should name towns things like 'Reeks of Open Sewer', 'Pedophile Town', or the Pratchettian 'Don'tgonearthe Town')

At any rate, despite being a soil born illness, it's spreading and sickening larger numbers. Arizona had to declare it an epidemic, and the range overall is expanding. Nobody knows why, though new construction might be to blame.

So, yeah. The fungi from yuggoth are here to kill us all.

Source: The New York Times

50 Worst People

An interesting list of people to despise. Though I imagine they might get misunderstood for their item on 'The Troops'. From context it's pretty clear they mean the mythological, monolithic block that a Republican is always referring to... "We've got to make sure The Troops get what they need", "We've got to support The Troops", and the like.

The Republicans obviously don't mean real soldiers; if they did, we wouldn't be slashing their benefits, warehousing them in shitty barrack housing while they wait for VA care, denying them treatment for their mental illnesses after they get home, and the like. No, it's all for these Troop fellows, which I think is their point as well.

Whoever those jerks are, they should stop mooching from our Veterans.

Source: The Beast<

The Huckabeast
So Huckabee says that homosexuality is a 'choice', that his faith defines him, and that he'd be ok with atheists in his cabinet.

Good luck finding one who'll work for you, bible-thump. Though some people can swallow almost anything for money; you might try to find an atheist streetwalker.

Source: Raw Story

Hungry in America
Here's a story to turn your stomach, no pun intended.

There's a little girl named Hannah Devane who is allergic to pretty much all food. She has a rare immune condition that causes part of her immune system to attack her esophagus whenever it detects food that she's allergic to. Which is unfortunately just about all food. The damage from these attacks is progressive and cumulative, so it's best to avoid any food that would cause them.

Fortunately there is a process, though agonizing, to find safe foods to eat. There is also a hypo-allergenic foodstuff/fluid that is safe for such people to eat in the meantime.

Unfortunately, her insurance won't cover it. They'd rather she starve.

But the insurance program that covers her family through her father's job as a New York City police lieutenant has stopped paying for the formula, which costs $1,200 a month. Food supplements and other over-the-counter items are not covered under the family's insurance, the prescription plan administrator said.

It's nice that a paper pusher gets to make our medical decisions for us, isn't it?

Dr. Barry Wershil, a pediatric gastroenterologist at The Children's Hospital at Montefiore in the Bronx, doesn't hide his indignation over the insurance hurdle.

"This kid can't eat food," he said. "This formula is her only source of nutrition. The insurance (provider) saying they will not cover it is a travesty. It's like telling a diabetic they can't take insulin."

I say to you all: Hell is too good for these insurance people.

Source: Lower Hudson Online

Pink Floyd Was Right

So the Children's Minister in England has put out a report telling teachers to mellow out when little boys want to play with toy guns or lightsabers, that it's not the apocalypse if a kid wants to be a little rambunctious.

The teachers groups are responding with outrage at this assault on their never-ending battle to snuff out all joy and happiness in their charges.

Hey, teachers, leave them kids alone!

Source: The Guardian

There is One Terrifying Word in the World of Nuclear Physics

"Oops." 

--MST3k, "Monster A Go-Go"

News of the Day: Dictators Gone Wild

Real dictators! Really nuts!

Are Those Studded Dog Collars?
Putin promotes the expansion of the Russkie rival to GPS by announcing that satellite tracking collars for your russian dog will be available soon.

Right after they get all the mandatory human ones ready, I'm sure.

Source: Raw Story

Father Loves You
Kim Jong-Il loves his troops almost as much as he loves cartoons. He personally makes sure they have hot baths and tv reception in the barracks!

Worship our short, cartoon obsessed dictatorial overlord!

Source: Raw Story

Blofeldian Toys Department
So Bush keeps poking Russia with a stick by spending billions on these useless missile 'defense' systems and withdrawing from treaties to do so. Putin responds by spending lots of oil money developing nuke delivery systems that could demolish an entire fleet of anti-nuke interceptors, as if we even have one that works.

The circle of idiot life, folks.

Source: My Way News

Quick Random Thought

The Arcane Archer prestige class from D&D really reminds me a lot of Kagome from Inuyasha.

Just saying.

Source: System Reference Documents (D20 System)

Humor News

Apparently I've become a bit menacing, what with the sneaking around on the roommate and random Sweeney Todd singing.

I still say it's not really sneaking if you announce your presence with song.

What if the Beatles had done Stairway?
A question for the ages has now been answered.

Source: And Yet I Persist

Ron Paul is Hilarious
Paul got into a thing with Tim Russert over his assertion that the United States is sliding into 'soft fascism'.

Aside from the characterization of fascism of any sort as 'soft', he's not really wrong. But Paul as the anti-fascist crusader? He raises money from Stormfront!

Pot, meet Kettle.

Source: Raw Story

Department of Rove
I'm pretty sure they already printed this one, but what the heck. Still funny.

WASHINGTON—Longtime political adviser and Republican strategist Karl Rove announced Aug. 13 that he would step down from his role as White House deputy chief of staff to spend more time in the shadows and devote his energy to the things he really cares about, such as creeping, slithering, and disappearing for all time into an ever-darkening realm shut off from hope and goodness.

Source: The Onion

His Grandfather Was Even Better
Modern day Lupin wannabe and master thief now faces life in prison. Alas, to be Lupin you really need your chief adversary to be a guy like Zenigata, especially these days. You can't outrun the radio, as they say; fleeing with your loot is just so much harder in the postmodern age.

Source: The Guardian

Be On the Lookout
Creepy Carly warns of holiday dangers.

Source: Creepy Carly

Breaking News -- English Paper Declares London World's Greatest City

After an exhaustive search, The Independent, a Brit paper, has found that London is the world's greatest city.

This is the biggest surprise since Cheney picked himself to be Vice President!

I'll leave my slightly cynical retort to Mr. Sweeney Todd.
 

There's a hole in the world
Like a great black pit
And the vermin of the world inhabit it
And its morals aren't worth what a pig could spit
And it goes by the name of London...

At the top of the hole sit a privileged few
Making mock of the vermin in the lower zoo
Turning beauty into filth and greed
I too
Have sailed the world and seen its wonders
For the cruelty of men is as wondrous as Peru

But there's
No Place
Like
London!

Who Knew a Commercial for a Children's Hospital Could Bring the House Down?

Nevertheless, it did.

Real life story of our adventure before Sweeney Todd.

News of the Mourning

Radio, radio play my favorite news.......

Lieberman Should Be Drowned in a Gunney Sack Like the Rat He Is

So 'Independent-Democrat' Lieberman has, without even waiting to see who the Democratic nominee for President is, gone out and endorsed Republican McCain.

Boy, Hillary, I bet you feel great about helping to beat the drums on his pet grudge against videogames now, don't you?

Source: Huffington Post

PS: The title of this post comes from a conversation I had with an EB employee back in 2000, when he explained that he wouldn't vote for Gore for President because of Lieberman and his anti-videogame crusade. He concluded with the statement I've reused as a title.

It's Officially OK to Rape American Women in Iraq Now
Seriously. The Justice Department refuses to prosecute one of their employees, a translator, who raped an American working in Iraq. The State Department even lets him keep his security clearance and work at translation.

Meanwhile, gay translators can go beat feet.

Source: Shakespeare's Sister

It's Official: Worms are Happy Eating Poo
The inventor of a worm-based septic composting system was forced to evaluate not just the health impact of his invention on the worms, but the *mental* health impact.

Ok, ok, I want to know if the worm suffer too. It's not as outrageous as the story presents it, though I wouldn't have said 'mental health', but simply asked for a stress assessment.

At any rate, the results are in: the worms love eating human waste.

Good for them I guess.

Source: Raw Story

Prissy Little Man Sells Kid's Christmas Gift for Profit
So an angry father sold off his kid's Guitar Hero III after catching the kid smoking pot in the backyard.

The article says it was a Wii version... is there EVEN a Wii version or is this another ignorant reporter?

Additionally, some idiot paid 9 grand for this copy. Argh, the stupid, it burns!

I don't understand this man. His son was clearly practicing! How can you get the full rock star experience if you're not occasionally performing bombed or stoned or smashed or what not? It makes no sense.

Just listen to this whiny little bitch of a father:

The naughty son, however, will not go without a present on Christmas.

"I am still considering getting him a game for his Nintendo. Maybe something like Barbie as the Island Princess or Dancing with the Stars ... I know he will just love them," the father said, tongue-in-cheek.

Ahahahaha... I'll run some more salt in my son's wounds and attempt to emasculate him in the eyes of society!

So funny. Or you could skip making the asinine point and donate some of that cash you pocketed to Child's Play, where poor suffering kids might actually want to play a Barbie game.

Source: Raw Story

A Word from the Pontiff
Pope decries seeking pleasure from drugs and other 'selfish' behavior.

Then he walked to his private car on his shiny Prada shoes and immaculate robes to hang out with his suspiciously close male secretary while, still, refusing to apologize for being a death camp guard during WWII.

Moral authority is a wonderful thing.

Source: The Washington Post

Swords Will Fucking Cut You Wide Open

True story.

Time Travel is Hazardous

So December 8th was Act Like a Time Traveler Day. I almost missed it, but one of the rooomate's crazy friends reminded me. We had to do something, but only had about an hour to improvise.

The solution? Pretend to be a dystopian future traveler, and run amok at Atomic Age. It was great, though I may have startled the poor Doctor, which is saying something. Long story short, the roommate acted as a lookout inside, while I waited for our squidy host to arrive. I managed to cook up a decent costume by applying wound makeup, lots of fake blood, dirt to look disheveled, and not shaving for the day.

When he had arrived, I ran up to him, grabbed him by the shoulders, and did my best Michael Biehn.

"What's the date?"

He pauses, confused, looking around, then answers something like December 8th.

"THE YEAR?"

"20, err, 17"

"THERE'S STILL TIME!"

Then of course I ran out to the car, changed my clothes, shaved my stubble off, put on my nice jacket, and sauntered in, as if to be oblivious to the events that had transpired.

Pretty standard I suppose, but still a lot of fun. Plus the Doctor has a new bloodstain on his jacket.

Thursday News

News news news


Department of Fatherland^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^hHomeland Insecurity

So it turns out that the Bush Administration's biggest and most lasting contribution to National Security, the formation of the DHS, has...... well, not so much worked out, as catastrophically failed. If this was a photo blog, you'd now be seeing a picture of a bus, comically submerged, and the words 'Epic Fail!' pasted over it.

Where, oh where lord, to begin.

Failure By Design

First, a study done by Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington has concluded that the DHS is full of massive, catastrophic waste.

Shocking, I know.

In its report, CREW documents billions of dollars in taxpayer money that was lost on poorly conceived or never-implemented DHS programs, including $1.3 billion on an immigration program aimed at tracking people coming to and leaving the US. The program "has never worked as Congress intended," CREW alleges, naming US-VISIT the top "Failed Program" in its report.

The Federal Emergency Management Agency, which was widely charged with failing New Orleans' residents after Hurricane Katrina, was awarded the dubious distinction as "most troubled DHS component." And the US Customs and Border Protection agency was "most criminal," according to CREW, because of the number of officials charged with protecting the border who have subsequently be charged with aiding illegal immigrants.

“The Department of Homeland Security is an embarrassment that would be comical if only our national security were not at stake," Melanie Sloan, CREW's executive director, said in a news release. "The agency and its leadership must be held accountable for its failures and pushed to do better.”

Source: Raw Story

Republican Graft Sinks Ships

My personal favorite aspect of the failure of the DHS has to be the complete and spectacular blowout of the Coast Guard's Five Year Plan to upgrade its aging, creaky and overtaxed fleet.

It was a grand plan too. An entirely new set of ships, a massive upgrade to existing vessels, a state of the art, custom made intelligence gathering and surveillance system... the works.

But of course, being the Bush Administration, it had to flame out, and take your precious tax dollars down the drain with it.

First, being Bushies, they outsourced the entirety of design to private defense contractors and left it, unsupervised, in their 'capable' hands. Predictably, this was a very, very bad idea. The new flagship vessels turned out to have serious security flaws and be built out of components that, well, can't take the cold, despite being specced to withstand -40 below. Oops.

Then they started retrofitting the old vessels, according to plan. Only out of the first batch, 8 of them were so unseaworthy they had to be thrown away. They wouldn't actually, you know, float. At least, not for long, since they immediately started cracking apart. Another ship design is so heavy it's useless, and has been described as a 'brick'.

You know you want to have bricks instead of ships. Lolz.

The Coast Guard has since had to beg the Navy for ships to make up for these losses, and the program is SEVEN BILLION over-budget. The Coast Guard is now actually less effective than it was before.

Lovely, huh?

Source: The Economist
Source: CREW (Note: PDF)

Gutsy Move Department

I was impressed with Morales when I saw him on The Daily Show, and I'm even more impressed now.

Morales has apparently been in something of a power struggle with his political opposition, and he has a simple solution: Let the people decide. Right here, right now. The opposition holds the provincial governments, he holds the national one. So Morales has quite literally dared his opponents to hold a referendum, right now, to retain their offices, alongside himself, naturally.

That's just unheard of. It's like Russian Roulette with a vote.

Source: The Associated Press

Department of "Duhhh"

Results are in on the Bush Administration's anti-science, anti-reason, anti-education approach to sex and social policy.

Teen pregnancy is up! For the first time in 14 years!

The birth rate had been dropping since 1991. The decline had slowed in recent years, but government statisticians said Wednesday it jumped 3 percent from 2005 to 2006.

Wow. Lovely.

Source: Raw Story

Artistic Anarchy

So a world-famous graffiti artist has plastered a security wall designed to divide up, well, let's face it, Palestinian land from the pesky natives with some subversive art. It's hilarious stuff too. Not to mention, err, some security you have there. It probably takes less time to punch a small hole in a concrete wall than to paint an entire series of graffiti pictures.

Source: Raw Story

News Update

Everything you ever wanted to know about the Pineapple Conspiracy but were afraid to ask.

Ok, so nothing on the PC; it's too dangerous. Instead, have some news.

Scientology is Bad for You, Mmmkay?

A German official is pushing to have Scientology, which is already considered a for-profit enterprise and swindle machine in the country, banned. Presumably from the country. Initially that strikes me as being a bit much, but then again, we ban the Mafia and other criminal organizations that have killed innocent people for money.

Source: The Associated Press

Brains, the Other White Meat

So a mysterious neurological illness is sweeping the employees at a meat processing plant who, until recently, were charged with removing the brains of pigs with compressed air guns. A lovely task I'm sure. Doctors are baffled, but the symptoms match a more or less incurable autoimmune disorder; the patients seem to recover, which leads them to conclude it isn't likely a prion disease like Mad Cow (though I think it's a bit soon, really; the proper incubation period on some of those prion diseases is several years, so these people might all drop dead half a decade from now).

Of course, the plant is still operating and selling to the public. Because, you know, we can't take any proactive health measures whatsoever. Mystery plague in a meat packing plant? No positive ID on cause? Could be a contagion wending its way through the food supply? NO PROBLEMS!

God.

Source: AP Features/Raw Story

Golden Compass Movie Removes Troublesome Atheism

So the author of the Golden Compass and its two sequels is a public Atheist. His books are full of bitter religious critique, against Christianity in particular. Hollywood wants to make them into a Narnia style blockbuster. The solution: remove all his ideas on religion!

Yeah. Ok. That doesn't smack of crass conformism at all. Meanwhile we have Dominionist whackos who scream bloody murder if they can't put their nativity scene on the courthouse lawn, and who fret endlessly about there being enough Christ in Christmas.

Gag me. Not the way Pullman's being gagged, but gag me nonetheless.

PS: Note the way CNN sells this story. Golden Compass Selling Atheism to Kids? GASP. SOMEONE MIGHT SELL AN INTANGIBLE BELIEF TO YOUR CHILDREN. IT IS AKIN TO AMPHETAMINES. ATHEISM IS THE METH OF THE MASSES
Source: CNN.com

Middle East Roundup

Let's see. Helen Thomas took Dana Peroxide to task a few days ago, and the video has been making the blog rounds. Basically Thomas had the gall to ask our Press Secretary if we'll ever be out of IraqIranWherever, and it led to a nasty spat. Thomas got off the best line by far of course, a simple statement about the Administration's supposed regret over civilian casualties:

'Your regret doesn't bring back a life'

That should go on bumper stickers.

Source: RawStory

In other news, a reporter covering Lebanon for The National Review Online, a right wing lunatic site attached to a right wing lunatic magazine, has been outed as a fabulist and hoaxer after a series of his wild stories were debunked or came into question. Amongst the questionable items? That Hezbollah had developed a 'delayed-acid' bomb that when detonated would make a car's chassis melt in half and the back fall off, Loony Tunes style.

Seriously. They published this.

Sources:

The Huffington Post
The Huffington Post (Specifics on the Acid Bomb)
Jesus' General

Finally, Harry Reid is supposedly considering yet another vote on Iraq, presumably to force El Presidente yet again to dash the hopes of everyone in uniform right before Christmas. This is the right track; I'd say, in fact, don't hold votes on anything else. Just Iraq, every day, all through December and January. People are sick of this insanity, and if they're reminded of it often enough, they just might do something about it. Now's the ideal time, the pro-GOP media conglomerates are running out of TV shows to dull the collective wit.

Source: The Hill

Reid to Bush: Suck on THESE

Over the last few years El Presidente has abused the recess appointments process in ways that were, well, completely unprecedented. Quite innovative too, if you hate democracy and all it stands for. Have a right wing radical bomb-thrower who could never, ever get approved by the Senate? Have a bunch of cronies you want to put into power without any qualifications whatsoever? Just want to piss off the legislative branch by bending them over a chair? Well, then, use an outmoded procedure in the Constitution, intended for use in emergency situations to fill vacant, and vital, positions in government, while the Senate is on vacation!

The idea of appointing during a recess isn't really such a strange one when you think about the time the Constitution was written. Traveling back to your home state was a long and arduous trek for a lot of Senators, I mean, would you like to travel a few hundred miles, in winter, along muddy rutted roads in a horse drawn carriage with wooden wheels and no shocks? At the same time, Americans sort of expect their representatives to live in their districts part of the time, and before telecommunications, it was hard to talk to them without having them around at least every once in a while. Plus they might have actual human reasons for going home, holidays with families and the like.

So they put in a way for the President to fill posts if somebody dies while the Senate isn't in town. Logical, really. It could take a substantial amount of time in the old days to call them back, even to inform them they NEEDED to come back to DC. You can't really go without a Secretary of State for a month. Remember how the last battle of the war of 1812 was fought 2 full weeks after the war was over? Yeah. We're talking about that sort of nonsense.

However, in recent political epochs, recess appointments have traditionally been used to squeak nominees who would otherwise have a dubious shot at confirmation through, as well as occasional lowly flunkies that nobody really cared about. Bush took that to a whole new level, appointing grandiosely unpopular and unfit people via recess appointments, even if the Senate had made it perfectly clear they were NOT approved for the job.

So Harry Reid, Senate Majority Leader, has had enough. He plans to prevent recess appointments by removing recesses from the calendar. Simply put, the Senate will never shut down for more than 10 days in a row. He's going to get a local Senator, say someone from next door in Delaware or what not, to drive in once every 10 days, open and close the Senate, and thus close the loophole that our Little King has been abusing these last 7 agonizing years.

Harry Reid, whatever else you can say about him, has a lot of balls. He didn't let the mob intimidate him with assassination attempts back home, and he doesn't let Georgie intimidate him in DC. Bush will be feeling this pimp slap for a long time.
http://thinkprogress.org/2007/05/20/reids-plan-to-block-bushs-recess-appointments/

Jerry Falwell: Fag-Enabler

Oh my various non-existent gods this makes me want to laugh so hard my gut aches. Well, ok, it already ached, which is the sole reason I'm not laughing so hard that it would, err, otherwise ache. I guess I'm in for pain either way really.

http://patriotboy.blogspot.com/2007/05/lord-works-in-mysterious-ways.html

Fred Phelps, man, is there anyone he doesn't hate? I'm beginning to wonder.