Horror News

The Horror

I've been meaning to put these stories up forever. Oops.

China
In advance of the Olympics, China has decided to ban the noble horror movie.

BEIJING (Reuters) - China has added ghosts, monsters and other things that go bump in the night to its list of banned video and audio content in an intensified crackdown ahead of the Beijing Olympics.

Producers have around three weeks to look through their tapes for "horror" and report it to authorities, the General Administration of Press and Publications said in a statement posted on the government Web site.

Offending content included "wronged spirits and violent ghosts, monsters, demons, and other inhuman portrayals, strange and supernatural storytelling for the sole purpose of seeking terror and horror," the administration said.

The new guidelines aim to "control and cleanse the negative effect these items have on society, and to prevent horror, violent, cruel publications from entering the market through official channels and to protect adolescents' psychological health."

Yes, let's make sure people aren't exposed to the ghastly horror of a zombie movie. That might make them unhappy, and if they're unhappy, they won't be nearly as productive in the slave labor factories churning out crap to enrich their masters/owners in the Communist hierarchy.

Source: Reuters

Michael Bay Must Be Stopped
Michael Bay, the man who thought Hawaii should be cleansed of Asian characters for Pearl Harbor, is baaaaaaack.

Transformers director Michael Bay and his partners at the Platinum Dunes production company have been tasked by New Line Cinema to "relaunch" the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise.

Wes Craven’s 1984 slasher classic gave the world the iconic Freddy Krueger, who haunted a total of nine films and two TV series. According to Variety, the new outing will represent a "complete overhaul" of the Nightmare concept.

Bay and chums are also gearing up for a May start on resurrecting Jason Voorhees of Friday the 13th in a new film to be helmed by Marcus Nispel. This is apparently up for a "complete overhaul" as well, and movie buffs will remember just what a complete overhaul did for The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - remade in 2003 by New Line with Nispel calling the shots and Platinum Dunes lurking in the shadows.

And just to reinforce the feeling that Hollywood has completely lost the ability to come up with an original concept, Variety adds that Platinum Dunes is "prepping an exorcism thriller" for Rogue Pictures, plus a remake of Near Dark to be directed by music vid vet Samuel Bayer.

Oh yes, and the company's filling its spare time "developing a Universal remake of Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds", in which Casino Royale director Martin Campbell will presumably ensure that slated star Naomi Watts will get plenty of unwanted avian attention.

Oh dear Eris protect us all.

He's remaking Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, The Birds AND Near Dark. As well as an Exorcist ripoff.

THIS MAN IS THE DEVIL I TELL YOU

THE DEVIL

Source: The Register